


Seafoam and Lilac

by floatingpetals



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: A lot of Hurt, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff, Multi, Panic Attack, Protective Sam, Tears, before the comfort comes, steve and bucky are judgmental jerks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 19:48:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16839229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floatingpetals/pseuds/floatingpetals
Summary: Request: Could I have either a Steve or Bucky one please?! Where the reader is new & has coloured hair, piercings & tattoos? She develops a crush on Steve or Bucky but overhears then saying they would never date her because they like ‘normal’ girls. So she gets really depressed & upset and tries to change?





	1. Chapter 1

Time and time again, Y/N was told that she shouldn’t keep doing what she was doing, that she needed to fit in. She’d roll her eyes at the comments, ignoring the words that stung less each time. She was proud of who she was, proud of what she’s become, and no one was going to tell her otherwise. When she was younger, she hated how she stood out because of her gift. It wasn’t like she had anyone to teach her how to control it at first. Her father died from cancer when she was just two months old, leaving her mother to deal with her daughter’s sudden manifestation of powers.

Y/N was a psionics, it wasn’t quite telepathy, wasn’t quite psychic. Because of it, Y/N had a range of abilities she was still learning, new powers revealing itself every day. Her mother had raised Y/N to remember that it’s not normal for books to float around her and that it was rude to read another peoples mind. Y/N tried, she really did, but eventually It just became to much work to hide it. She simply decided to embrace it.

The first day she walked into her home with her first barbell piercing, Y/N’s mother almost had a meltdown. When Y/N came in a few months later with a row of piercing along her ears, her mother griped less but asked she put a pause until she was at least 18. Then came the colored hair that always made her mother roll her eyes. After one bad fried hair experience, her mother threw in the towel and just decided it was best to pay someone to do it for Y/N instead. She had hoped someday her daughter would grow out of, it but years later, Y/N still walked around with piercings and vibrant colored hair. When she got her sleeve, Y/N’s mother didn’t even bat an eyelash. It took her time, but her mother came to accept her daughter just as she accepted her powers.

Y/N grew into herself, loving who she was. People loved telling her she’d never get a steady, decent job with the way she looked and acted. She was too wild, too eccentric. Y/N ignored them all, not wanting normal. She was good at what she did, and never doubted she’d get her dream job. She must have done something right if Tony Stark came up to her at the park asking her to be a part of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. He saw her for what she was, a skilled fighter and asset to a team, and not on her outward appearance. Her mother teared up when Y/N told her she was going to work with Stark. It was a long exhausting battle for them both, and she was so proud of the outcome for her daughter.

The first month living in the compound alongside the other Avengers was interesting. When Tony introduced them to her, it was a collective look of shock on their faces. She stood out like a sore thumb compared to the rest, something that never bothered her until she was under the scrutinizing look of the Avengers. While they were wary of Y/N in the beginning, most learned fairly early on she wasn’t intimidating in the slightest.

Natasha and Wanda had quickly become her closest friends, Hill right beside them whenever she was able to spare time to be in upper New York. The three women were enamored by her brightly colored hair, her current color scheme a lovely shade of seafoam green with lilac ombre tips. They lived vicariously through her and her different colored hair, none even slightly adventurous enough to get something done like her color. The group even had their own Pinterest boards specifically for Y/N when the time came for change. Wanda picked up a habit of buying Y/N random earing she thought she would like, sometimes even finding cute septum rings to add to Y/N’s ever-growing collection.

Sam fell in love with her tattoos, sometimes even tracing the designs she had along her arm when they sat beside each other. He asked about each one, curious if they each had stories. Some did, most didn’t. Clint would routinely ask if she ever had plans for more and curious about what or where she’d put them. Vision was confused by her decorative outward appearance, and she thought it was adorable how he genuinely wanted to understand it’s purpose. 

The ones that were hard to crack were both the fearless Captain and his Sargent. Both Steve and Bucky hadn’t been around as often as the others, either one on a mission half the time she was there. When they were, neither made any effort to get to know her. Y/N tried when they were around, she asked them questions hoping to get to know them better, but she always hit a wall. They never ignored her but didn’t supply much information. She was just given short and almost vague responses. They’d shy away from her touch or left as quickly and discreetly as they could when she’d enter a room. It hurt at first, but Natasha reassured her that’s what they were like. They both had a lot on their shoulders and took time opening up around someone new. She just needed to give them both time.

Y/N did simply that, letting the two men get used to her as best they could. Because she took a step back, it gave her time to see what kind of men they were. Bucky kept mostly to himself, but she caught him more than once muttering something sarcastic under his breath around the group. He and Sam would get into from time to time, his wall dropping for a moment when he did and she saw him for who he was. A man who wanted to enjoy life but was scared that he’d never be accepted by the people around him. When he was around Steve, it was like he was home and could be himself. Steve was similar to Bucky in the sense that he kept his emotions bottled up. He did let his guard down more often around the others, his smile lighting up his face a few rare times. She noticed how he’d do little things around the compound, helping out where ever he could without needing any recognition. Both were softies at heart, deep under their hard exteriors. She knew how much they both cared for each other just by sitting back and watching.

Somewhere along the way, she realized she was falling for not one, but both super soldiers. It hit her one night settled on the couches in the common room. It was a rare time when both soldiers were present, and the group decided to movie night was in order. Bucky and Steve took up an entire sofa, grinning smugly when Sam whined that they took up the whole thing.

“You don’t need that much space. Move over.” Sam grumbled, glaring at them both. They both just smirked, neither making a move to let him sit beside them.

“Nope,” Bucky spoke, adding a pop at the end of his sentence. Y/N giggled when Sam started sputtering before he finally gave up and settled on the floor in front of the coffee table. The rest had filtered in, Natasha and Wanda on either side of Y/N on their own couches. During the entire movie, she couldn’t stop herself from glancing over at the two, smiling at how relaxed they both became.

Bucky ended up sprawled out on the cushions, snoring softly towards the end of the movie, while Steve settled in deeper into the back of the sofa. He too was struggling to keep his eyes open, both exhausted from weeks of nonstop missions.

“Whatcha looking at?” Natasha leaned in, whispering low into her ear. Y/N jumped, jerking her head away from where she was staring.

“N-Nothing!” She squeaked. Natasha snorted, already seeing exactly where she was looking.

“Whatever you say.” She giggled, turning back to the movie.

Since that night, Natasha made it her plan to set her up with either one of the soldiers. Y/N fought her tooth and nail until Natasha eventually figured out why she dug her heels in so hard. 

“Oh, greedy aren’t you?” Y/N’s face heated up at Natasha’s teasing but didn’t deny it. It was one of the reasons why she never made any moves on either. She couldn’t and wouldn’t choose between the two, leaving her with her secret crush on the pair.

A week after Natasha figured it out, Y/N was sitting in a conference room, flipping through the files from her upcoming mission. She’d be teaming up with both Steve and Bucky, her nerves frayed. She’s never worked side by side with either of the two, both preferring to work with each other or either Natasha or Clint. She never got the chance to train with them either, both awake and done by the time she even rolled out of bed. It went from little to no interaction, to suddenly being thrown head first into the lion’s den. Don’t get her wrong, she was excited. However, she was incredibly terrified.

Amidst her panicking, she missed when Natasha strolled in the open door. She slipped into the seat beside Y/N unnoticed, clearing her throat. Y/N jumped and spun around in her chair.

“Jesus, Nat.” Y/N swore, clutching at her chest. Natasha smirked, giggling at her reaction.

“I thought you were supposed to be the mind reader.” She teased, nudging Y/N’s side. Y/N snorted and rolled her eyes.

“That’s not- Whatever.” She snipped, flipping back through the pages. “What do you want?”

“I just wanted to see how you’re going to handle this mission,” Natasha remarked. Y/N glanced at her from the corner of her eye before spinning her seat to face her friend.

“What do you know?” Y/N asked, narrowing her eyes skeptically. Natasha blinked, shrugging.

“Honest to God nothing. I just know this is going to be an interesting trip for you considering things.”

Y/N scoffed and shook her head. “You’re making a bigger deal of this then you think, Nat. It’s just a crush, nothing more. I’ll get over it.” Y/N turned back to her folder, flipping it shut. She took in a deep breath, mumbling under her breath. “Eventually.”

Natasha frowned, watching Y/N push back against the table and stand. Y/N patted her on the shoulder as she passed behind her chair. Natasha looked over her shoulder at Y/’s back, calling to her before she could leave the room.

“I think you should go for it.” Y/N froze in the doorway. Natasha tried to sound reassuring, but Y/N didn’t see it the way she meant. “I really do.”

Y/N didn’t respond, sighing softly. She nodded once before heading down the hall towards her room. Y/N really did want to try a relationship with both the soldiers, but she didn’t have the feintest idea of how to even approach the subject. Like she said to Natasha, it was just a crush she’d get over. Eventually. For now, she was okay with just watching, wishing and dreaming.

Twirling a strand of hair with her finger, her steps were silent down the hall. She came up to the doorway of the common room and heard three voices, two of which made her heart race at the sound.

“I don’t know.”

She stopped beside the threshold, frowning at the irritated tone of Bucky’s voice.

“Oh, come on. She’s not that bad.” Sam sounded even more irritated, almost defensive. “You both haven’t even had the chance to get to know he yet.”

“It’s not that we don’t think she’ll do great Sam-.” Steve sighed.

“But?” Sam was quick to interject, his tone more defensive than before. 

“But,” Steve hesitated. She heard him inhale loudly. “I just don’t know if she’s someone we can trust.”

“Why not?” Sam snapped. Y/N stomach dropped, she wasn’t foolish enough to wonder who they were talking about. “You haven’t been around to form any sort of real opinion on her. You’re judging her on her looks, the both of you are!”

“Is that wrong?” Bucky muttered hotly. “You’ve seen how she looks. I just can’t imagine taking anyone seriously in all that get up. She spends too much time on her appearance. Anyone who does, doesn’t spend enough time on other things, like training. Not to mention: It’s not normal.”

Her breath left her lungs, tears springing up to her eyes. She knew they didn’t talk much, but she never would have thought that it was like this. Bucky sounded slightly disgusted as if the thought of her appearance was really a problem for him. Steve didn’t deny it, he sighed again. There was a loud bang, and Sam was snarling at Bucky.

“ _Are you fucking kidding me_?!” Y/N jumped at his ferocity, her tears flowing down her cheeks. “You? You’re judging her?! Based on her appearance? All because she decided she wants pink hair one day and green the next? Are you shitting me, Barnes?!”

“Hey.” Steve snapped. “Watch it Sam.”

“Like you’re any better _Captain.”_ Sam spat. “You know nothing about her, you don’t know the shit she’s been through or even what she’s capable of! You’re judging her on her appearance, just like people used to judge you before you became America’s golden boy! And you’re not better _Soldier._ How the fuck can you both live with yourselves?”

The room rang with silence, and Y/N had to cover her mouth to keep in her sobs. She was so grateful for Sam at this moment, his protectiveness for her being the only reason why she hadn’t collapsed where she stood. Y/N never let what others said about her get to her, she’d learned to brush it off and roll right off her back. Yet the words the two men she had come to adore were like a knife straight into her chest. She couldn’t stand to hear any more. Spinning at heel, she took the long way around to her room, hoping no one would cross her path as she did.

* * *

“FRIDAY?” A sob tore through her lips, looking at herself in the mirror. “Turn on my lo-fi playlist please.”

“Of course. Is everything alright? I’m sensing high levels of distress. Would you like me to call Mr. Stark for you?”

“No, that’s okay.” Y/N shook her head, her eyes never leaving her image in front of her. She ignored the AI’s response, too focus in on her appearance as the calming music filter in through the overhead speakers. Maybe they were right. She did spend too much time on her appearance, and for what? Because she didn’t want to fit in?

She scoffed, rubbing the ink on her arm. She didn’t regret getting them, she never would, but she couldn’t help but wonder where she’d be without them. Where would she be if she just had one set of piercings on her ears and not the row? What if she didn’t have her nose pierce or regular colored hair?

She sniffed, rubbing the tears and smeared mascara. It was the hard truth, something she dreaded facing for years. She couldn’t keep doing what she was doing, she had to change to be taken seriously. Sucking in a deep breath, Y/N got to work.


	2. Chapter 2

“Has anyone seen Y/N?” Steve questioned, looking at the clock on the hanger’s wall. Natasha, Bucky and he stood beside the prepared quinjet, five minutes from takeoff time. Natasha wanted to say goodbye to Y/N before she left, as well as wishing her luck. Bucky snorted dryly, slipping a knife into his boot. Natasha’s brow raised at the sound, crossing her arms over her chest. She narrowed her eyes at Bucky and looked back over to Steve.

“I don’t know. She said she-.” She started to speak, however, was cut off by the hanger doors sliding open as she did. She turned and let out a loud gasp, seeing someone who vividly resembled Y/N walking in through the doors. Only she looked completely different. Her jaw dropped in shock.

Y/N had to take a moment to collect herself before opening the doors. Sucking in a deep breath, she willed her heart to calm and to hide her shaking hands. She squared her shoulders, strutting in wearing a similar suit to Natasha with long sleeves and a high neckline. All her tattoos were covered, even the ones on her hands with her black leather gloves. Her face was bare of her usual makeup, a simple plain natural look in place with light highlighting and mascara. There was nothing else. Her face was stripped of all her piercings, not even her ears had any, save for the single silver studs on either earlobe. The most shocking of her appearance was her hair. No longer was it a shade that resembled a mermaid’s tail, her hair had been changed into a natural shade, jarring and out of place compared to her original look.

Natasha gaped, for the first time ever her life she was completely speechless. Y/N smiled at her friend, the motion not reaching her eyes as she walked up to the jet.

“Sorry guys. Tony stopped me to talk in the hall.” She faced the two men, who were just as stunned as Natasha. She decided to ignore their surprise by bending down to pick up her pack. “We ready?”

Steve was the first to snap out of it, shaking his head to clear the shock from his system. Something in his was unsettled by her new appearance, but he had to push them aside for now.

“Uh-y-yeah.” He stuttered, turning around. He and Bucky shared a look of shock and horror before he stepped into the jet. Bucky’s eyes lingered longer, his brows knitting together, his blue eyes flashing with a peculiar look before he too walked up the jets ramp. The engine kicked on and Y/N figured that was the only acknowledgment she was going to get out of them. She waved to Natasha, who was still staring and started to make her way to the jet. Natasha’s hand shot out, stopping her short with an iron grip.

“What the hell?” She hissed, tugging harshly on Y/N’s arm. Y/N hardly reacted, her eyes dull as she smiled. “What happened?!”

“Nothing happened, Nat.” Y/N sighed, gently prying her arm from Natasha’s grip. “I think it’s just time to start acting my age. Besides nobody would take me seriously with all that going on anyways.”

“What?” Natasha gasped. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing, what happened in the past few hours?

“It’s okay.” Y/N soothed, squeezing Natasha’s hand. “I’ll see you when I get back.”

She didn’t wait for Natasha to respond, stepping into the jet to find her seat. She clipped herself in the seat towards the back, as far as she could from either of the soldiers. Popping in her headphones, she missed the skeptical expressions on either of the soldiers. At the moment, she was only focusing on keeping her heart rate down and mind focused on the mission at hand.

* * *

The mission went off without a hitch, actually ending two days earlier than planned because Y/N stepped in and found a way to get what they needed quicker. Both the soldiers were genuinely surprised, and a little ashamed they were so quick to judge her. She hardly said two words to either other them beyond the mission, and when she did it was almost hollow. She didn’t resemble anything close to the woman they say in the compound, both outwardly or inwardly. She was completely subdued.

When the jet landed, Sam was waiting alongside Wanda and Nat. All three had their arms crossed against their chests, their mouths pulled into tight lines. Y/N froze on the ramp, shifting her bag to her shoulder.

“Well aren’t you three a sight for sore eyes,” she chuckled. The three didn’t respond, Wanda’s eyes twitching the only movement Y/N got from any of them. “Okay, welp. Your three suck as a welcoming committee.”

She rolled her eyes and brushed passed Natasha. The assassin clicked her tongue, shoot a sharp glare at the two soldiers that emerged from the jet before spinning at heel and following Y/N. Wanda narrowed her gaze at the men, who both tensed at the sudden hostility from their small welcoming party. She followed the two women out the door, muttering under her breath as she went. Sam didn’t move, his mouth in a hard line.

“Sam, what’s up?” Steve asked. Sam’s faced twisted in barely contained rage. Bucky stopped beside his friend, his eyes watching Y/N as the door closed behind her, Natasha and Wanda.

“You both are giant assholes.” Sam hissed. He said nothing else before turning around and stomping out the door, leaving the two stunned.

“What’s his problem?” Bucky asked, eyes wide. Sam didn’t like him, so he expected that from the man. But he liked Steve. Clearly, there was something wrong that they didn’t know about. Steve shrugged.

“I don’t know.”

* * *

The next few weeks were hard on the entire group. Y/N no longer took any part of her previous conversations with the group. Anytime they’d bring up her hair, she’d brush it aside or shrug like it was no big deal. She hid her tattoos, wearing long sleeve shirts where ever she went, even went to the extreme of covering up her tattoos on her hands with makeup.

Natasha and Wanda tried more than once to corner her and get it out of her, but she held firm. Y/N believed what she was doing was for the best. Even if she was a hollow shell of her former self. No longer did was she the loud animated person the rest had grown to love. She kept to herself, quiet and suppressed. She no longer could be found dancing in the kitchen in the morning, she huddled in the corner during movie night, smiling meekly whenever someone tried to talk to her. Somedays, Y/N never even left the comfort of her room.

Only Sam seemed to know what was wrong, and he took his hostility out on the still oblivious super soldiers. He no longer spent time with Steve, opting to try and bring Y/N back out of her shell. He changed his schedule around, no longer training with either soldier, even refusing any and all missions he was put in with either of them. It caused a strain no their relationship, but Sam didn’t care. They did this to her, he knew it and told the rest just what happened that day in the common room. He was forced to watch one of his closest friend cave in on herself, all because of what those two idiots said. He didn’t even know she was there at the time, but her sudden change was proof enough. They took her heart, who she was, and shattered it on the ground.

The change didn’t only affect Y/N and her friends, it also affected Steve and Bucky. At first, the had no clue why the team had suddenly turned on them. They’d walk in a room and whoever was in would give them a dirty look before leaving. Tony would always make a snide comment before he left, glaring at them over his shoulder. Wanda and Natasha would usually sit in a pack, glaring at them while they muttered things under their breath. The second worst was Sam’s hostility. He held nothing back, telling them just what he thought about the pair.

Yet the worst thing that affected them both was watching Y/N miserable descent. They hadn’t spent time with her much before, but they saw the difference. They noticed how she had changed since the mission. There was a shift in the atmosphere, and it didn’t take them long to figure out it was because of her. She was a light in the group they didn’t realize was there. The times they did spend with her, she always had a carefree smile on her face, her laughter sparking something in the air. They realized with her change, they never felt pressured to be anyone they weren’t around her. She never expected anything of them other than to be themselves. Now, she was stiff and careful with her words. She’d still smile occasionally, but it was tight-lipped and given with broken eyes. She wasn’t Y/N. Not anymore.

“We fucked up, didn’t we?” Bucky sat on the corner of Steve’s bed, staring blankly at the empty tan wall. Steve was folding his laundry on the opposite side and sighed throwing down the folded t-shirt.

It had been two months. Two months of watching Y/N crumple further and further in on herself. The hump broke the camels back when Steve got too close to Y/N the other day. She was in the kitchen, staring expressionlessly at the skillet while her eggs were cooking. Steve needed to get to the coffee maker besides the stove and reached over her to get a mug. It was the first time he had ever been so close to her, seeing her face up close was jarring. Her eyes were lifeless, her cheekbones were sunken in and dark circles were formed under her eyes. His arm was knocked out of his lungs and his heart broke at the sight. He didn’t even know he reached to touch her natural colored hair until she flinched at the soft touch. The screech of a chair scrapping across the kitchen floor caused the two to jump.

“Don’t touch her!” Sam snarled, coming around the island with his teeth bared. Steve stumbled backward, stunned when Sam shoved against his chest with his full strength. The rest of the group was up, Bucky at Steve’s side while the other stood behind Sam.

“What the hell is your problem, _Wilson?!”_ Bucky hissed, clenching and unclenching his metal hand.

“My problem is you touching people you shouldn’t be!” He growled, pointing at Steve. Steve recovered from his shock, his mouth pulling into a tight line.

“I didn’t do anything wrong-.”

“You’ve done plenty wrong, Captain. And I’ll be damned if I let you fuck anything else up.”

Y/N had shrunk back during their argument, Natasha stepping in front of her friend as a shield. Taking the opportunity, she slipped out of the room, forgetting about breakfast. By the time anyone realized she was gone, Sam had ripped into the both, letting them just know why she was like this now.

“We lost her because of _you!_ ”

Bucky groaned, falling back on the comforter, burring his face in his hands.

“We fucked up.” He repeated with a whine. The weight of what they did came crashing down on them in the kitchen, her sudden change of behavior clearer. She heard them. And she took it to heart. The nail in the coffin was Natasha telling them how Y/N felt of them both. She told them the way Y/N face lit up whenever they were in a room, how hard she tried to include them, and how hurt she was when they brushed her off. Natasha spared no detail, letting them both know how deep Y/N had it for them. And they went and stomped on her heart by judging her all because of her appearance.

“We sure did, Buck,” Steve whispered, settling on the other side of the bed. The silence was oppressive, both thinking over everything that happened. They had to fix this, they needed to bring the Y/N they met back. This wasn’t her, she changed because they let their old-fashioned points of view get in the way. “We’re going to fix this.”

* * *

Y/N cracked an eyelid open, squinting at the blinding light coming from her open windows. She forgot to close them last night and was regretting the cruel wake-up call. Pushing back her comforter, Y/N swallowed the lump in her throat, dreading the day.

She hated what she’d become, she barely looked in the mirror anymore because of it. However, this was necessary. She had to act her age, this wasn’t high school anymore. Reluctantly, she grabbed mismatched clothes and threw them on. With a quick brush of her teeth, she threw her hair up in a bun and wandered out her room into the kitchen.

“Morning.” She mumbled, rubbing her eyes as she strolled into the kitchen. Bucky and Steve looked up from their seats at the bar. Steve glanced at the clock, an amused grin spreading across his face.

“It’s one o’clock, doll.” Y/N stopped short, caught off guard at his easy smile. Bucky had the same expression, his eyes trailing up her body before settling on her face. She cleared her throat and went to open the fridge.

“Oh.” She mumbled. With her back to the two at the bar, she didn’t see the shared look of distress, too busy grabbing a water bottle and a banana from the bowl beside the fridge She froze when she turned, both Bucky and Steve watching her. “What?”

Bucky shook his head, grinning. “Nothin’.”

“Actually,” Steve said, taking a sip from his glass of water. “We were wondering if you want to come with us for something.”

Y/N blinked, her mouth falling open. “Uh. O-okay? With what?”

Steve just shook his head with a lopsided grin and pushed his seat back. “That’s a secret. Meet us down at the garage in twenty minutes?”

Y/N nodded numbly and the two walked out of the kitchen with making grins. It took her a minute to collect her thoughts, shaking her head as she stumbled back to her room.

* * *

The drive was silent, the two men practically vibrating with anticipation. They almost didn’t expect Y/N to be there in the garage, and both were ready to be let down until she crept into the room, twisting her hands in front of her. Bucky ushered her into the front seat of one of Tony’s sport’s cars, holding the door open like a gentleman before he slipped into the back seat. Steve took the driver’s seat and silently took them to where ever they were headed.

When they pulled up to a familiar shop, Y/N’s eyebrows shot up.

“Why are we at a tattoo shop?”

Steve hummed, unbuckling his seat belt and turning off the car.

“It’s been something we’ve been thinking about getting for a while now.” He answered simply.

“We?” She squeaked in shock. Her head twisted around at Bucky’s chuckle. He nodded, his grin causing the crinkles around his eyes that Y/N had grown so fond of. Her breath hitched, and all she could do was openly gape. She never thought these two would ever want their own- especially not after what they said.

“It was an idea we tossed around, we both wanted something to remind us we survived,” Bucky said with a twinge of remorse, his brows knitting together.

“But why ask me to come?”

“We figured out of everybody, you’d know what we’d be getting into. Having you here will help comfort us.” Steve shrugged.

“What?” she asked, stunned. Now it was Steve’s turn to chuckle.

“You have experience, and to be completely honest, we’re pretty nervous.” Bucky was nodding in the background, sitting up to lean between the seats.

“We’ve both been through hell and back, but this is new for us both.” He turned to look at her with his large blue puppy dog eyes. “Can you be there to hold our hands during this?”

Laughter bubbled up in Y/N, and she began to giggle uncontrollably in the passenger seat. Before either could worry, she was nodding and opening her doo.

“Come on you two babies.” She giggled. Both Steve and Bucky beamed at her, clamoring out of the car behind her.

* * *

“So, was it as bad as you thought it be?” she grinned at how they both were smiling at the wrapping around the arms. Steve nodded, starting to pull back the bandage. She reached over and smack his hand away. “Not until we get upstairs to clean it!”

He pouted but left the tape be. Bucky snickered behind him, crossing his arms over his chest. He forgot about the fresh tattoo, rubbing against the metal of his arm. He yelped, pain shooting up his arm.

“That’s what you get for making for of Steve when it was his turn.” She chided. Bucky blushed, ducking his head against his chest. “Come on. We shouldn’t leave it in the wrap for much longer.”

She started to reach down to grab the bag of Aquaphor the stopped to buy on the way back when Steve reached a hand out and stopped her. He was biting his lip, his happy demeanor suddenly shifted to something serious. She tensed, glancing over at Bucky who had the similar look.

“Look. We didn’t just ask you to come with.” Steve started. “We needed to address something that happened a while ago.”

Y/N sat back, her brows furrowed. Steve looked down at his hand in his lap, taking another deep breath before beginning.

“When you first joined the group, Buck and I were… Well, we were less than welcoming. We didn’t treat you with the respect you deserved, and formed our own wrong opinions on you.” Y/N bit her lip to keep it from trembling, their harsh words came screaming back to her. “We judge you base on your hair, and tattoos and piercings. We let out our old-fashioned way of thinking get in the way of knowing you, the real you.”

“We wrote you off,” Bucky interjected. He too looked equally ashamed. “Me especially. And I had no right or any real reason to do so. You have been nothing but nice to us both since you joined, and we turned our noses up at you.”

“And then you heard what we said to Sam,” Steve whispered, his gaze anywhere but Y/N. there wasn’t a day he that didn’t go by that he regretted saying. “I don’t know where you were, but I know you heard us.”

Y/N gulped looking down at her own hands. She blinked back the tears, struggling to keep it together.

“I know it’s so overdue, and you have every right to hate us, but we’re so sorry. For saying what we said, for even thinking what we thought. It was uncalled for. We have no room to judge you for being who you are. It was wrong and we’re both so incredibly sorry for it.” Steve turned, taking her small hand in his larger ones. She sniffed, her vision blurring at the tears. “We hate seeing what you’ve become. This isn’t the real you and you know it.”

“We see how broken you are,” Bucky said gently. He reached over the seat and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “You didn’t have to change, especially not for us. Please, we need you back. The real you.”

Y/N free hand flew to her mouth, holding back the sob that was threatening to break free. She had spent the past few weeks denying there was anything wrong. She thought it was for the best, but she wasn’t living. Not anymore.

The two soldiers leaned in, wrapping their arms around her as best the could in the car.

“No, please don’t cry.” Steve pleaded, burring his face into her neck. “We’re so sorry. We were awful. Horrible. So please don’t cry.”

She shook her head, grabbing both their arms, careful of their fresh tattoos. Bucky nuzzled against her forehead, taking in a deep breath.

“We’re so sorry.”

The three sat in the car for a long while, the two men holding on to Y/N as she cried out all the bottle up emotions from the past two months. They pulled her hair free of its bun and ran their fingers through the strands, murmuring soft words of reassurance. It would take time to repair what they broke, they both knew that, but right now all that matter was making sure she knew just how remorseful they were.

It wasn’t until her tears stopped and her shoulder stopped shaking that they loosened their hold. Bucky spoke first, cupping her cheek with his flesh hand.

“We’re not asking you forgive us now-.”

“Of course, I do.” She interrupted. The two froze at her words “I never really hated you. I couldn’t. but your words did hurt.”

They nodded, completely understanding.

“We know. And again, we’re so sorry. We can never say it enough. But we will.” Steve stated. “Everyday day, until you’re ready to strangle us both.”

Y/N giggled, and both Bucky and Steve smiled widely at the sound.

“We want you to feel safe, to feel like yourself. If you want neon pink hair, do it. If you want to show off your tattoos, wear those shorts and tank tops you always used to wear. And please bring back that little nose tattoo thing.” Bucky pointed at his nose, making a face. “What’s it called?”

“A septum piercing?”

“Yeah, that. I always kind of thought it was a little cute.” He bushed, ducking his head against his cheek. Y/N giggled again, whipping her cheeks of the dried tears.

“Okay.” She whispered. “I’ll try.”

Steve pulled her into a hug, smiling into her hair. “That’s all we can ask.”

Y/N relaxed into his hold, her own smile spreading on her face. Reluctantly she pulled away, tired of the parking break digging into her side.

“Come on. We need to go clean up your tattoos. Maybe later you can come with me to get my hair fixed.”

Steve and Bucky beamed down at Y/N, nodding in sync.

“Anything for you.”


End file.
